new seasons

There has been no small amount of change in the past month, and through it I have discovered three things about myself:
1. I love adventure. This isn't a particularly new discovery; more of a significant reassurance that yes, I do indeed crave adventure and change.
2. I have a difficult time connecting with the people I love most when I'm off on adventures or absorbed in a project (which is almost all the time). Now that I'm beginning a season of my life where many of my friends are spreading across the country, I especially regret my inability to maintain a connection to those whom I hold in highest esteem.
3. I am in constant, desperate need of Grace and Mercy which comes through prayer. Not the prayer request over any urgent crisis or martyr-like undertaking, but the simple, persistent knocking on the Door of a Good Father for His favor and blessing on my life, ministry, and troublesome adventures.

This is not a blog for me to pour out my deepest thoughts or offer my personal musings to a world already over-cluttered with meaningless chatter. This is not a soap box for me to rant and rage. I do not expect anyone to read this but my close circle of friends and family. This blog is for you whom I love to stay updated about my ministry and adventures on which the Lord is taking me, and I hope it to be a connection by which I can keep up with your lives,  however far apart we are. Most of all, it is a bold request for prayer: may God use me effectively wherever and in whatever capacity He so chooses. I look forward to sharing the joys and challenges with you all.

On Wednesday I returned from a mission trip on the First Nations Reservations in Ontario. I know that many of you I've been unable to talk to have been wanting to know how it went. In a word: wonderful. The challenges turned to sweet victories as we saw fruit come directly from our church-planting labors. I saw the demeanor of a few teenagers drastically change because of the hope they saw in our group. We were able to touch so many lives, share the gospel repeatedly with grace and respect, and demonstrate hope in a neighborhood robbed of dignity. The Spirit went before us to soften the ground, enabled us to plant seeds, and is cultivating a harvest. I have been on three mission trips before this one, but only on this trip have I felt the strong, sincere desire to return and continue working. We shall see what comes of it. In the mean time, continue to pray that the Lord sends workers into the harvest field among the First Nation.

Currently, I am spending my summer as a youth director at a small church in rural Missouri. This is my first summer away from home, and the sweet independence mixed with loneliness is a strange draught indeed. I am so excited about all the opportunities these next few months can afford for diving into a stronger relationship with my students, but the task is daunting: "Administration" is not one of my spiritual gifts, and the job requires keeping track of many details, persistently connecting with people who won't return phone calls, delegating jobs without making people angry or hurt or feel unappreciated or over-burdened, coming up with creative but do-able ideas for fun activities, and keeping track of the necessary paper-work all while teaching, preaching, greeting, and acting like a genuinely nice and civil person. I love my job, but this is why it is so stressful.  I often feel like I'm under quite a bit of pressure, and then I consider my young age and the fact that I'm not even a ministry major and the task feels even more overwhelming. It feels an awful lot like herding cats.
But when that one student is tracking, when he or she gives that surprising on-target answer or asks that pivotal question, then it's all worth it. I know it's cliche but it's true. I wouldn't trade my job for anything.