Missions Week re-cap

done.
It's been a long, full two weeks, but the hard part is finally done!
I have a day of office work tomorrow, Sunday school, then I'm free for a week. Huzzah!
Our missions week was surely blessed by God! This week I learned that God does not count success like we count sucess. My version of success would have been 10 kids involed in missions week, complete with games and amazing projects, topped off with a weekend retreat.
God's version was very different and so much better! Simple, intense discipleship with three boys. We didn't have the numbers to play a bunch of exciting games, but we did get in some really awesome discussion about the Greatest Commandment, The Great Commission, sharing the Gospel and sharing our testimonies. We served a neighboring church, a man who doesn't often leave his home, we re-did our youth room so that it looks AWESOME!!! and hosted a block-party for a neighboring apartment complex. The small group afforded more opportunities for daily teachable moments and I believe made a lasting impact on these boys and even the future of this church. I am amazed at how God worked and changed my attitude to align with His own vision. Through seasons of deep frustrations and discouragement, He has led me to a river of rejoicing. I am certain that He is with me in this ministry, and I know beyond a doubt that this is exactly where I'm supposed to be. Thanks for the prayers and keep them coming!!!

Hurdles in Discipleship

It's a full season for this youth group. And I am in the process of convincing myself that every moment of it is worth it.

First, Camp was last week. Definitely a fantastic experience. Five of my students were going, so I went as a counselor and I think I had more fun then the campers! It was a relief to still be doing ministry while not in charge of making decisions. I was able to connect with several campers and counselors while I was there, and my own students got to see me in a different environment. I know that camp made a difference in my students because there is a seriousness about the gospel now that wasn't there three weeks ago.

So Monday started off Missions Week. This has been the strangest combination of excitement and discouragement. I have been planing this week-long event since the middle of last semester, have been talking about it all year and really pressing sign-up for the past month and a half. The grand total of attendence?...3. Some have legitimate reasons why they can't be here this week, others have just decided that they're not interested, and some I can call and call and just never get a hold of. What is most discouraging is when you see service and talking about Jesus as a treasure, but some just don't care. I never claim to be the most fun person to hang around but I know that people are missing out.

Organizing the details of this week has also been a challenge. Last night I waded through an hour or two of phone calls in an attempt to sort out the details for tomorrow, which completely changed on me last minute. Some other phone calls tonight should add some more closure but I'm learning that there are some questions I just have to wait patiently for. I feel scatter-brained as I haphazardly pull things together and totally elated when, beyond belief, they actually work!

Every time I question, I am always reassured that the work here is worth it! So far we have talked about the Greatest Commandments and the Great Commission; tomorrow we'll try to articulate our testimonies and thursday we'll be talking about "the least of these." Some may say that these themes are too advanced for middle school kids but I have seen them repeatedly rise to the occassion and eagerly participate in the discussion. These boys actually want to learn about God, the dynamic here is perfect for close discipleship. Even though it's not nearly what I wanted it to look like, perhaps its good that it's just the three of them. My God is in control.

So far, we ripped out a carpet in a small church in a neighboring town, prayer-walked through our town as we passed out invites to a free car wash we had today. (We were able to use the car wash as a springboard into the gospel: getting something for free or doing something without payment.) Tomorrow we will do some yard work for a gentleman in our neighborhood and paint our own youth room. Thursday is an outreach project; we will be hosting a block party in a neighborhood just for the sake of building connections and relationships there.

Perhaps some good will come of our projects and people will be interested in joining our church. Perhaps the only good I'm doing here is planting seeds. I pray that one day these boys will become young men of passion and godliness. Perhaps my small influence can point them in that directions. All are aching for love and for answers. So what if there's only three? They are three precious sons yearning to know the Father, and I am blessed to be a small part of it all.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAJ0gzqzg_c

Validation is sweet

I don't want to complain about my job, but the fact is that it's difficult in ways I never expected and are very hard to put into words, especially to people who have never before worked in ministry. I was talking to a pastor the other day, asking her how she has the stamina to continue her job for years and years without getting discouraged. "Only by God's grace," she said. "Sundays are my best and worst days. Some days I just sit in my offic after church and cry and cry. Then I get up and get ready for the next week." It's exhausting to have passion and a desire to teach and inspire and have the people you serve not care. They attend because it's what they do but not because they thrist to know more.
But hearing these stories is the most encouraging thing for me. If these great saints can serve for years and struggle and cry and continue joyfully, then I'm doing things right! My brief time in this church is not useless. I can be faithful to follow the call and not worry about the fruit.

I am so excited for the upcoming camp and missions week!! Finally, the lessons are written, supplies purchased, projects all planned out and a weekend retreat to top it all off! To my astonishment, all the details have fallen into place. I know this week will have great potential and God may use it to change hearts as He did mine when I was on Jr. High youth trips. I can hardly believe that I'm leaving for Camp in two days. It will be an intense time encouraging middle-school and Senior high girls, but at least I don't have to make decisions! :) Overall, the next few weeks will roll right along, and with all the ups and downs, I'm glad to be a part of this.

Learning to take it all in stride...

The grand total for church today: 2 in Sunday School, and the same 2 at youth group!
Even though I announce repeatedly that mission week permission forms were due today, even though I made phone calls on Tuesday, Friday, and today attempting to remind students to come...that's just how summer's are in this community, I've been told.
What was cool was the two who came. The game I chose was meant to be a fun object lesson about how we need Scripture to combat Satan's lies, but my instructions were confusing and without enough people the game fell flat completely. They were really good sports and enagaged in discussion dispite the lack of running around. I got an honest comment from a third-grade boy who tagged along with his older brother, "I'm bored to death." okay, thanks. I'll remember not to recycle that one. But the older two, though obviously bored, stuck with me. I forgot that the two wonderful women who make dinner for us were going to be gone this week, so we took an improvised trip to Sonic, which took up most of the remainder of our time and precluded any running-around activities. They're such good sports and I'm so glad I get to play a hand in teaching them.
We need to re-vamp our strategy. what we're doing works, but it's only scraping by.
A year ago in May this church had almost 30 students. Then they called a break for the whole summer and we never got them back. I know this church is capable of doing so much more, but something just isn't working right.

like turning a ship

Last night was a very encouraging evening! A meeting with the pastor set me on the right track for finalizing projects for our missions week on the 23rd. A number of phone calls proved that we may expect a good number of students that week, and (bless the Lord!) enough helpers to go around.
What was most encouraging was a meeting I had with the pastor and another congregant leader later that night. We discussed our vision for the youth group and how we can start working toward a more structured program. While venting about our frustrations with some pockets of the congregation, I mentioned the shocking reality that a large part of the church says they want more youth for the sake of the church, not for the sake of saving souls, and in fact they aren't willing to change to see their numbers grow. The older church leaders laughed at my comment: it was no surprise to them that the church didn't want to change. That's the attitude of many churches across this country, especially those composed of primarily older members. We shouldn't expect a total upheaval, but that doesn't mean that change won't come gradually. My pastor even mentioned a few minor changes he's seen in some members in the past 7 or 8 months, which was encouraging to hear.
This church may not change much during my short time serving here, but change is on it's way. I'm getting involved in something bigger than myself, planting seed for someone else to harvest years down the road. I am to be faithful to the task God gave me today. And today, my task is to make more phone calls about missions week.
Thank you for the prayers--He hears you!

joys and frustrations

It feels like the times when I feel most discouraged is right after a relative success in ministry. I do not understand it. Maybe it's Satan trying to rob my joy, maybe it's just me learning to adjust my expectations as I maneuver the ups and downs of church ministry. I guess ultimately, its the reality that not even this work, which I once and still believe is my greatest joy, can be completely fulfilling. Yes, I know that God is using me and my teaching in ways I can't see (and I've even been blessed to be allowed to see some fruit) but sometimes, at the end of the day, it's a paycheck. All the "shiny" has worn off.

Last Thursday we had a girl's night that went really well! Movie, snacks, "Just Dance," and toe nails. I was glad to provide the opportunity for the girls to come together and have some fun and make connections with some female youth leaders. So I guess it was disappointing when Sunday rolled around, and none of the girls showed up for youth group. We've had increasingly high attendance the past few weeks, but this last sunday there were only three boys, and I got the impression that they weren't too interested in the lesson, though I pulled out everything I could think of to make it engaging. I often talk about the steady drip of truth that carved out my faith as it is today, and I know the same concept applies to these boys I teach. Sometimes, though, I catch myself wondering if I just tell myself that to make me feel better. I know that a few hours once a week is not nearly enough, and it's even more aggravating when parent's aren't committed enough to bring their children to church.

This week I have the daunting task of compiling projects and helpers for our missions week. Please pray that it all comes together smoothly. Pray also that I don't give up, but that I finish strong the race marked out for me.